The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
