i just had sex bonerless
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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