We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
