What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
