Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
