So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
