I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
