Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
