Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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