your room smells of hookers.
And success
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
