It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
