i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
