Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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