i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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