it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
