Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
