Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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