Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Hippo gnu deer
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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