apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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