An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Pants are for mortals
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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