I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
