i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
