yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
