everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The Olympian is in my bed
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
