We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I need moral support for this bender
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
