I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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