It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
