its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
