I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
