Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
