I can't watch pbs sober anymore
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
