At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
