dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
