if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
