i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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