i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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