just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
