I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
