New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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