I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
