I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm like, not good at living.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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