Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
