he told me I talked like a deaf person
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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