i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
