How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
