Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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