I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
