well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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