chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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