Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
