Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
