Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
