how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
