I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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